Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
