After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
