you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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