they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
