I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
