i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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