he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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