He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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