Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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