if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize