she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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