why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
