I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
