i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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