I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize