Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
