Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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