I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
jump out the window naked night went bad
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