Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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