Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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