Umm I'm too high to move.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
