Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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