Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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