OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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