i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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