You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize