Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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