Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
