i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
