Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
