Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
