Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
