Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize