Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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