She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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