and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
