went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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