I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
