Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
