Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.