Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
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She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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