There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club