in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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