omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
