wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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