Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
