that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
