It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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