My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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