I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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