My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
