Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
