It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
