I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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