You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize