Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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