I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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