I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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