I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
