Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
