I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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