Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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