Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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