i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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